The progressive sex education website
Informed About Sex
with Shain Stodt, Sex Educator

is undergoing a transition. It will reopen as a page about a beautiful book derived from the principles of this site, for
which I have gratefully received such a moving response.
It's been a joy and an honor.
As a public service, the following pages will remain available: p
ppp
SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS
RESOURCES

SAFER SEX

BIRTH CONTROL

SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION

VULVA  WELLNESS


ALL ABOUT
THE MAGNIFICENT CLITORIS


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SEXUAL ASSUALT

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COMMUNICATION

PREGNANCY &
BIRTH

MENSTRUATION

DISABILITY & ILLNESS

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BODY IMAGE

AGING

SEX THERAPY


CHILDHOOD FAQ

VIDEOS

TRANSGENDER

TRANSGENDER WOMAN MAN COLOR DRAWING
INTERSEX

The following links are currently de-actived: LGBTQQI, Partnering, Masturbation, Touch, Teens, Sensate Focus, Anatomy and Physiology, Conception, Sexual Response Cycle, Fantasy, Gender Roles, Role Playing, Dying, Self- Examinations, Breath, Tantra, Sounds, Menopause, Genital Self-Portrait, DIet and Nutrition, Exercise, Sex Toys,
Posting Page, Q & A with Shain Stodt, Bloggers, Contributors.

Support our mission to make high quality sex education available to the public? Your  tax deductable donation to our non profit sponsor, Integrative Arts and Wellness, makes it possible!pppp
 




"Sex education is the birth right  of all people.
You're entitled to be happy, relaxed and at ease in your body, your sexuality,
and your ability to take care of your sexual health.
Whatever your gender, gender-orientation,

sexual preferences - you deserve sexual joy and well-being. " 

Shain Stodt is a certified Sex Educator trained at the Institute For The Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, California. She lives in Pittsboro, North Carolina, where she consults with individuals and couples, speaks, writes, and advocates passionately for progressive sex education.

FIRST DO NO HARM (from Partnering in Shain's upcoming book)

 NO HARM
Partner sex is a delicate exchange between two inherently vulnerable people sharing body and soul together on a very deep level. Never underestimate the risk of one or both parties getting hurt, however lightly you approach the relationship. There are emotional consequences to any sexual encounter. The more caringly you conduct yourself toward your partner, the happier you will both be.

 No, you needn't be committed, in love, or any more emotionally involved than you wish to be. You're completely entitled to your boundaries and limitations - as long as you're honest about them. Never pretend to have feelings that you don’t have, or tell someone you love them when it’s not true.  However, when you partner with another person sexually, you owe it to them -and to yourself- to honor each other's body and spirit by being respectful and considerate. You owe it to the relationship to do no harm.

If you can't do this much, then you're essentially using your partner as an objectified sex-toy. People are not toys; they can’t be fixed or discarded if they get broken. If this is where you’re at, masturbate instead! Then you can be as self-centered and self-indulgent as you want. That's fine when you’re flying solo.

But don't kid yourself about partner sex. It’s intimate stuff that has emotional consequences which you need to be sensitive to. If you’re not ready to accept this responsibility, then you're really not ready to share intimacy with a partner.


Some people treat sex like a drunken binge, pretending that it provides a forum to be selfish and self-indulgent. Others rationalize shoddy treatment of their partner with shallow catechisms: "I don't want to give the wrong impression. It's not like I want to be involved with them", "It's just recreational sex", or "I didn't make any promises.” While all of these are legitimate standpoints, none of them are excuses to callously injure another person’s psyche with careless behavior!

Here are three classic examples of what not to do:


Beryl: "When I took off my clothes, he looked me over and verbally evaluated my body; nice ass, breasts too small, belly not toned enough. I felt like the parts of me which he didn't approve of weren’t worth touching. In fact, that's just what I felt like: body parts. Like I'd been butchered".

Jorge: "I did everything I could to give her a great orgasm with oral sex. Then she rolled over and started watching television, ignoring me while I lay there completely frustrated." 

 Loraine: "He was inside me; I opened from my core. Then after he came he got right up and walked out the door with a casual 'later'. I felt humiliated and worthless".

 

Behavior like this toward your lover is unacceptable in any sexual relationship. Partner sex entails taking care of your partner’s wellbeing, as well as your own. Whether the enactment of a single encounter or the expression of a lifetime together, it should affirm both your souls, not cause psychic wounds.

 Treat each other's hearts gently.

From the introduction to Partnering by Shain Stodt. Copyright ©2014, All Rights Reserved.

 

To contact Shain Stodt about a consultation (Only serious inquiries, please)

Social Media Station.Com's interview with Shain Stodt on Social Media: The Good, The Bad, And The Horrifying

Question and Answer with Shain Stodt
is available on Blogger and BlogHer