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Informed About Sex
Progressive Sex Education for Every Body
"Sex education is the birth right  of all people. Whatever your gender, gender-orientation,
or sexual preferences, you're entitled to be happy, relaxed and at ease in your body,
your sexuality, and your ability to take care of your sexual health."

 ~ Shain Stodt, Sex Educator

NEW FEATURES
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BE INFORMED ABOUT SEX! (Check out our new revisions)
PARTNERING

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MASTURBATION

MASTURBATION REVISED
COMMUNICATION

COMMUNICATION REVISED

CORE BELIEFS

 core beliefs
BODY IMAGE

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SENSATE FOCUS

SEX TOYS

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ANATOMY & PHYSIOLOGY

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BIRTH CONTROL

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SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS
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SAFER SEX

SEX THERAPY

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SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION

DISABILITY & ILLNESS

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SEXUAL ASSUALT

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HUMAN  TRAFICKING 
&  FORCED PROSTITUTION

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LGBTQQI

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MASSAGE

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GENDER ROLES

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SEXUAL RESPONSE CYCLE

CONCEPTION

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MENSTRUATION

MENOPAUSE

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PREGNANCY & BIRTH

CHILDHOOD FAQ

TEENS

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AGING

DYING

VULVA  WELLNESS

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PELVIC EXERCISES

SELF- EXAMINATIONS

SELF EXAM BREAST
DIET, NUTRITION AND EXERCISE

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FANTASY

ROLE PLAYING

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TRANSGENDER

tRANSGENDERPORTAL
INTERSEX

RESOURCES
TOLL FREE HELPLINES


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FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION

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TANTRA

COMING IN MARCH:
THE ENTIRE Q&A COLLECTION

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BUSTING THE 8 BIG MYTHS

(From Partnering)

 1. Simultaneous Orgasm Is Best

Both partners achieving orgasm at the same time is not the holy grail of sex. On the contrary; it’s a romanticized ideal that puts unrealistic pressure on couples, inflicting needless tension and disappointment when it’s not achieved.

 The truth is that for the most part, it’s just not physiologically probable that two different people will reach orgasm at the same time on a frequent basis. Taking turns concentrating on each other’s pleasure and comfortably allowing each party to reach orgasm in their own timing is much more likely to yield good, satisfying orgasmic sex.

2. A Great Male Lover Can Keep An Erection Indefinitely

Satisfying male-female or male-male sex is not dependent on the male partner(s) maintaining an erection. Not only is this is an unfair, entirely unrealistic, and frankly nerve-wracking burden to place on men, but it often does not tally with what actually brings sexual pleasure and orgasm to either party. Oral sex and manual stimulation are generally more central to female orgasm - and often to male orgasm as well.  

So please guys, take a deep breath, drop that weight off your shoulders, and relax about erections as the source of your partners orgasms. They’re part of the journey and the fun, not the make-or-break golden key to success! 

3. It All Leads Up To Intercourse

There is no Official Rule of Sex decreeing that penile/vaginal intercourse is either the definition or the main goal of partner sex. Pleasure, intimacy, and usually, orgasm are. Some people prefer other forms of sexual activity. Some people don’t like intercourse at all. Many women achieve orgasm exclusively through oral or manual sex.  

Don’t let anyone impose a limited version of “normal sexual behavior” on your love life. Define your sexuality - don’t let it be defined for you. It’s too important a piece of your Self to give away. 

4. Sex Happens Naturally

“Sex is instinctual - just let it happen”. Oh the river of grief these words have caused! 

True, instinct is a part of human sexual expression. But a large component of partner sex is based on learning, communication and skill. Experience, shared information and gathered awareness gradually teach us how to fulfill the needs of both our partners and ourselves in a fluent dance of give and take. As we learn to perform this intimate duet, most of us can use all the help we can get from whatever cultural teaching resources are available; educational texts, information sharing with experienced friends and mentors, instructional videos, etc.  

5. There Are Two Kinds Of Female Orgasm - and The Vaginal Kind Is Superior

Victorians informed us that women are not orgasmic at all. Freudians convinced us that while women may be orgasmic, “clitoral orgasms” are immature: only “vaginal” orgasms, resulting strictly from male penetration, are psychologically healthy. Thus was born the catastrophic Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm. Generations of women were doomed to think of themselves as inadequate or “frigid” because they did not have “vaginal orgasms” during penile thrusting. It took the exhaustive efforts of sex researchers during the second half of the Twentieth Century to finally clarify the issue; there is only one female genital orgasm, and it originates in the external and internal clitoral erectile tissue.  

6. The Passive Feminine

Men are not the active party that initiates and leads during sex any more than women are passive princesses waiting for men to open a magic door and bring them to erotic life with their touch. During hetero sex, women and men are equal partners who get the most out of their exchange when both parties actualize their full potential to give and receive. Too many people are handicapped by a concept of sex that burdens men with the active role while repressing women’s capacity to galvanize their muscles and passions. We end up unfulfilled and feeling used, bored, or frustrated, because our sexual expression is stuck in this destructive rut of gender stereotyping.

7. Men Don’t Want Intimacy

In the same vein, the unfeeling, macho ‘male role’ forced on men by our society devastates men’s ability to feel, need, and express genuine intimacy, stripping relationships of the dimension and emotional connections that make them fulfilling and rich. Men, women and intersex people all long for tenderness, passion, vulnerability, and the right to express their full range of emotions without fear or censure. 

8. Women Don’t Like Sex As Much As Men Do

The destructive prevalence of this myth is fueled by the many world cultures that are ignorant or suppressive of female sexuality. When women are well informed about their genuine sexual functioning, secure that they can control conception, and affirmed as sexual beings, they like sex at least as much as men do. Many studies indicate that women have a far greater sexual capacity than men because they often don’t require a refractory period after orgasm and can continue sexual activity indefinitely.

About Shain Stodt


Shain Stodt is a certified Sex Educator trained at the Institute For The Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco,
California. The creator of Informed About Sex and author of it's thirty-plus subject articles, Shain specializes in sexuality concerns including relationship
issues and communication, female sexuality, body image and core beliefs, sexual dysfunction, teens, sexual identity, aging, and Transgender transitioning
from Male to Female and Female to Male. She lives in Pittsboro, North Carolina, where she consults with individuals and couples, leads workshops, lectures,
writes, and advocates passionately for progressive sex education. Shain moderates the popular Facebook discussion page Radical Women Talk Sex.



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