focus is the art of focusing on the senses.
We often become so anxious or intent on achieving orgasm
or performance that we don’t enjoy
the full experience of
sexual engagement. Not only does this mean losing out on much of the
pleasure of sex, but it can prevent orgasm. Sensate
focus exercises can help us let to go of inhibiting
anxieties and intent and tune into the
The cardinal rule when you begin sensate focus exercises is that
you are not trying to have an
Rather, the goal is to expand your awareness of sensation,
other objective or pressure. Be completely in the moment.
Exercises for Developing Sensate Focus:
your left foot in your hands. Feel the warmth and texture of your skin,
the weight of your touch, the shapes of your hand and foot. Are there areas
that ache, want to be touched? Are there areas that feel relaxed?
Begin to explore your foot with touch, focusing on
the feeling of its
textures. Try touching
in different ways; light, tremulous, firm with long
and notice how each
touch feels. What do you enjoy? Massage
any areas that
breathing with your
You can touch with more than your hand; try using your elbow, hair,
Allow yourself to express emotion through your touch.
Expand Your Range Patiently
Over a period of five days, expand this exercise
to your whole body, including the genitals on the last day. Remember: stop
before you have an orgasm.
not your objective; sensate focus is.
Repeat the exercise with a partner. The individual who touches
concentrates on active giving; the individual whose foot is touched
on passive receiving.
Now repeat the exercise with the individual who receives touch being as
consistently directive as possible: clearly tell and show your partner which
sensations feel pleasurable. How can their touch be made more pleasurable?
Do you want deeper or lighter pressure, to be touched here or there, longer?
Be clear about
your desires, and take charge of getting as much pleasure as
Now switch roles.
A sensation map is a chart of your body’s erogenous sensitivity zones. It’s
a great tool both for developing your self-knowledge and for increasing
intimacy with your partner. You can learn a lot about yourself and each
other doing this fun and enlightening exercise.
For this exercise you need:
-A large sheet of blank paper. Construction paper will do – anything you can
lay out on the floor.
-A large mirror.
-A comfortable, private, well-lit place where you won’t be disturbed.
Draw your nude body on the paper. Draw your front and your back, using the
mirror where you can’t see.
Starting with your feet and working to the top of your head, slowly touch
your body and note which areas enjoy what kind of touch. You can rate the
areas sensitivity to pleasure on a scale from 0 – 10. As you discover your
sensitivities, map them on your drawing.
You can also use words, colors, and any other means of notation to describe
Now study your map. Did you leave out any part of your body? If so, map it
Now your partner will draw you, and then touch you. You give them feedback
on a scale of 0 – 10 on what feels pleasurable, and they’ll chart a map of
your erogenous zones.
When you’re done, switch roles.
Take time to talk afterwards about what you’ve learned.
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Photographs 1,2,3 : www.Kozzi.com